pathophysiology of disease

thurs night stress due to ward presentation on Fri morning

stress-induced sympathetic stimulation

increased stress levels reduces blood flow

to gastrointestinal tract

reduction in blood flow stimulates gastric contractions

heightened gastric contractions at 12am leaves patient

no choice but to cook Maggi

decreased glucose levels leads to chronic usage

of unclean pair of scissors

prolonged stress induces tossing and turning

in bed for the whole night

culminates in nausea and projectile vomiting at

5.30am, Friday morning

sequelae of diarrhoea and vomiting ensues

patient feels like crap and doesn't bother drinking water

dehydration leads to onset of pyrexia

patient still feels like crap, doesn't give a crap and

continues sleeping

pyrexia worsens and patient finally gives in

pops in 2 tablets of paracetamol every 4 hourly

& downs 2L of gas-less 100 Plus

patient feels better by the next morning and manages

to escape the dreaded ward rounds

tell me, who da heck needs Ganong anyway?

i've got it all figured out